please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.