She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dating After Heartbreak
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class