The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.