she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b