Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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