Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.