My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.