If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night