I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.