we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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