Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
