There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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