im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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