the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
