There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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