he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
