you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
