Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
