He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
