I want to stick my p in your. b.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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