i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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