TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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