If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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