I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
