i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
