So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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