so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize