Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my being single is dangerous.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
