i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
