I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize