im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
