Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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