**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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