Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
