Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
