If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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