Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
