He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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