Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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