my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
