Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
