She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
