i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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