take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she told me i tasted like america
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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