I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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