i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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