My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she woke up with a sticky ear
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
