I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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