is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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