shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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