My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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