We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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