Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
