Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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