once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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